What If It’s Just a Thought? Rethinking Seasonal Depression

What if your experience of winter isn’t fixed? This piece explores how “seasonal depression” might just be an old story and how peace, calm, and even joy are always available, no matter the season.

For some people, winter is their favorite season.
They love the early darkness, the cold, the coziness.
Sweaters, soups, snow days, time with family. It all feels comforting and calm.

For others, winter feels heavier.
The shorter days bring tiredness, restlessness, maybe a quiet sadness.
And for some, the season itself brings worry and a fear that seasonal depression might show up, or that their mood might dip like it has before.

Some call it the winter blues.
Some identify with seasonal affective disorder.
We all experience the season in our own way.

If those labels bring you comfort or understanding, that’s perfectly okay.
But if a part of you has ever wondered whether your experience of winter could change. if it could feel lighter, calmer, or simply less consuming, this is for you.

An old story

It might seem really true to you that you’re just not a “winter person.”
Maybe you notice you’re not as happy, more tired, less motivated. The days feel short, the darkness feels heavy, and it’s harder to feel inspired or connected. Or maybe you haven’t experienced seasonal depression but you’re afraid of it so every time it’s fall, that fear starts up again.

When you’ve felt this way for a few winters in a row, your mind starts to treat it like fact: this is who I am, this is how it is. I hate winter.

But what if that isn’t the whole truth?
What if what you’re feeling isn’t a fixed trait, but a momentary experience? A thought you’ve believed so many times that it started to feel like reality? 

It’s an easy story to believe because you’ve thought it so many times that it starts to feel like what is, rather than an old story. But what if it’s just that, a story? And an old one at that? 

If you woke up tomorrow with no memory of how you’ve felt in past winters, would you still feel that way?

Memory is thought brought to life. And thought can only exist in the present moment.

When we revisit the past (“I always get depressed in winter” or “I always am afraid of getting depressed in the winter”) or imagine the future (“What if it’s like last time?”), we’re living in what isn’t.

Only this moment, what’s actually here, right now, is what is. 

And when we let ourselves come back to what is, we can start to get curious.
Curious about how winter really feels when we’re not resisting it or trying to change how we feel about it.

Maybe there’s stillness. Maybe there’s beauty in the quiet.
Maybe it’s more neutral than we thought.
Or maybe we feel really sad or tired and we can be with that too.

Even that sadness is part of what is. It’s safe to feel it, to let it move through.
We don’t need to label it, fix it, or turn it into something else.

This past year I’ve come to see how true it is that human beings suffer for two reasons:
one, we resist what is, and two, we try to make our experience different.

Accepting what is

Even if you feel momentarily low or tired, it doesn’t mean something’s wrong. It just means you’re human.

When you accept what you feel, instead of resisting it, you create space for your experience to change. And that’s exactly what experience wants to do, move and change.

Acceptance doesn’t make something permanent. It actually does the opposite.
When you stop fighting what is, your strength returns. You become larger than the feeling instead of smaller in comparison.

Resistance holds things in place.
Acceptance lets them flow.

When you stop trying to think your way out of it, your mind settles.
And when your mind settles, you start to feel better and wisdom has room to come through.

That wisdom or common sense might look like lighting a candle, making a cup of tea, taking walk, or buying a walking pad so you can walk indoors. Or it might just feel like a little more ease because your thinking has quieted down.

You don’t have to force positive thoughts or feelings (thank goodness, because that’s exhausting) because good feelings aren’t created by effort.

They arise naturally when your mind is quiet. They arise from the peaceful, loving state that’s already who you are and is always there underneath the noise of our busy mind.
Good feelings are not something you make happen; they’re what’s left when you stop thinking so much and trying so hard.

Your experience isn’t fixed

You can think of winter the way you once thought of bok choy or mornings.

My daughter used to think bok choy was the only vegetable she didn’t like, but that changed when she was a preteen. 

Maybe you used to dread getting up early, and now you love slow, quiet mornings with coffee before the world wakes up. I used to think there was no one who liked to stay out as late as me and I’d often party until the morning. Now I love going to be early and getting up early.

Is there something you’ve had a change of heart about? Something you used to dislike that feels different now?

Winter is no different.

What once felt unbearable can one day feel peaceful or like no big deal or fun. Not because you forced it, but because your relationship to it changed. And relationships change when thinking changes and our thinking changes all on it’s own because that is the nature of thought.

Innate Health Is Constant

When we feel low, it can seem like our wellbeing has vanished.
But even in your lowest or most anxious moods, your innate health and peace are still there.
They’re not dependent on sunlight, the time of year, or what your mind says about either.

Our wellbeing is like the blue sky.
Sometimes it’s hidden by clouds, but it’s always there. Sturdy and unchanged.
The clouds of thought drift in and out, our moods rise and fall, but the sky itself never disappears.

That sky-like steadiness is your true nature. It’s built in.
Even when you can’t feel it, it’s holding you.
And when your mind quiets, even just a little, you start to sense it again. That natural peace beneath everything. That’s what’s real. That’s what you can trust.

There’s something divine within all of us. It’s the inner light, the spark of pure innate health we’re all born with. You don’t have to earn it, fix it, or prove it.
It’s already there, quietly doing what it does best, bringing you back to balance the moment you stop interfering.

Change doesn’t come from trying harder.
It comes from realizing that your wellbeing was never missing.
Once you see that, things begin to shift naturally and effortlessly, the way light returns after the clouds move on.

What’s possible

I wonder how it would feel if you knew that you didn’t have to brace for the season or wait for spring to feel okay again?
I wonder how it would feel if you could let this winter be a fresh and new experience? If you want, I invite you to let this winter (and each day) be what it is.

Because peace isn’t seasonal.
It’s who you are. Sturdy. Unshakable. Always available.

A Real-Life Shift

Lauren, a member of my Unbothered membership, used to dread winter.

For over ten years, she feared the early darkness, the cold, and the time change. She felt convinced they would trigger seasonal depression. Even though she had never actually experienced depression, the fear of it consumed her.

She tried everything to “protect herself”: exercise, meditation, therapy, journaling, vitamin D, even a happy light. Yet the fear of winter and seasonal depression persisted. She believed the narrative that winter was dangerous for her mental health.

Here’s what changed. 

Lauren realized that winter wasn’t the problem.
Her fear wasn’t coming from the lack of light or the holidays. It was coming from her thinking about those things.

When she began to see that her experience was being created moment to moment through thought, everything softened. She stopped believing her fearful thinking was telling the truth.

Last year, Lauren didn't try to “prevent” depression. She’s simply lived her life. She and her husband lit candles, made tea, and actually enjoyed the cozy calm of the season. She’s no longer afraid of the early sunsets or quiet evenings.

What shifted for her wasn’t willpower or a new routine, it was understanding.

She saw that the darkness outside could never create darkness within her.

You don’t need to fear winter or any other season.
The same truth that set Lauren free is available to you, too.

If you’ve ever felt this way about winter, I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

xo
Lily